My son is starting daycare. Here’s how I’m preparing (my mind & heart) as a first-time mom

I just need this, I sobbed to my mom over the phone one exhausting afternoon. I had been struggling to get my son to cooperate with me on potty training and that day had just been a really bad day. I’m talking poop and pee all over the floor during an hours-long meeting at work kind of bad day.

I felt like we were regressing. Daycare starts in August and it felt like we were sprinting backwards. My intrusive thoughts started spiraling.

We’re not going to be ready.
They’re going to kick him out.
Everyone will think I’m a bad mom.

So when I called my mom that afternoon, I melted down under the weight of all that fear. “I don’t want him to be kicked out. I just need this. I’m so tired! I’m burnt out. I need a break. I need space!”

And that last word, “Space”, stopped me in my tracks.

I’m a working mom. I work from home from 7 am to 4 pm every day. I keep the house clean(ish), the laundry (mostly) done, the dog walked, and I make time to play and be fully present with my son. I know I’m doing a lot. But when I said I needed space, what I really meant was that I need to feel in control again.

When Control Feels Out of Reach

Parenting is a whole lot of letting go. I know you know that. But it hits differently when you say it out loud. Since the pandemic, I haven’t felt like I’ve had much control over anything. And now, just when things started to settle, we’re hitting another big milestone. Daycare. New routines. New fears.

And yet, when I zoom out, I realize: I have had a lot of say in how we got here. I chose this daycare. I chose this season of working from home. I created this life and now I need to re-frame how I move through it.

When my mom responded to my meltdown with, “I really think some sort of schedule would help you two,” it clicked. I don’t just need a schedule. I need a system. I want my life to function like a well-oiled machine, with breathing room built in.

This Is a Big Deal—And That’s Okay

Let’s be real: this kind of transition isn’t just another check on the calendar. It’s a complete life shift. Our daily rhythms are about to change. My son will be in a classroom. I’ll be working alone in a quiet house. It’ll be tidy and quiet, sure, but it’ll also feel strange. It’ll feel lonely.

And that’s okay.

Transitions are hard because they ask us to grow. They ask us to hold conflicting emotions (grief, relief, fear, joy) all at once.

Rewiring My Inner Dialogue

One of the best tools I’ve found for calming the chaos in my mind has been affirmations.

Intrusive thoughts aren’t the truth. Just like my fear that my son will be kicked out of daycare isn’t true, neither are the many other silent, heavy fears we carry as moms.

“I’m not doing enough.”

“Everyone else is handling it better.”

“I shouldn’t need a break.”

These thoughts creep in, but they don’t get the final say.

A mental health app I love called Balance has been a huge help. Their self-esteem meditations often offer affirmations that I adapt for motherhood. I keep a note on my phone and jot down the ones that hit home.

One of my favorites is a simple phrase I repeat when I’m overwhelmed:
“Just like me, he is learning how to handle big feelings. We are learning together.”

When my son is melting down, I try to sit with him, hold his hands, and silently repeat that. It grounds me. It slows everything down just enough to respond with compassion instead of frustration.

For the Mom Who Needs to Hear This

If you’re in the thick of a transition right now whether your baby is starting daycare, your big kid is going back to school, or you’re just bracing for yet another change, I want you to hear these truths:

You’re not alone.
You’re not doing it wrong.
And you don’t have to do it perfectly.

I created a free set of printable affirmations for moms in transition, just like you. They’re short, simple, and calming. Tape them to your mirror, tuck them in your planner, or scan over them in the car before drop-off.

Join the Next Level Moms Guild

If this post speaks to you, I’d love for you to be part of the Next Level Moms Guild. This bi-monthly newsletter is where I plan to share fresh posts, real-life reflections, and the tools and systems that are helping me manage motherhood one level at a time.

When you sign up, I’ll send you your free download of the Back-to-School Affirmations for Moms. Because transitions are hard—but we don’t have to go through them alone.

We’re In This Together

Working from home is hard. Parenting is hard. Working and parenting? Really hard.

But I believe that when we give ourselves the right support, when we put systems in place and give our thoughts a kinder script, we start to feel just a little more in control.

Not perfect. Not always peaceful. But capable. And that’s a beautiful place to begin.